Sunday, February 16, 2014

The hard part of infertility

So everyone thinks the hard part of infertility is giving yourself shots, or dealing with the side effects of hormones, or having to go through invasive/embarrassing procedures.  To me all of that is the easy part.  Stabbing myself in the stomach with a needle multiple times a day (or letting DH stab me in he ass with a needle), easy peasy.  Hot flashes, headaches, mood swings, heart burn, all a piece of cake.  Dates with the vag cam, letting a doctor stick a giant needle up my vagina to suck eggs out of my follicles, letting the doct stick a catheter up my cervix while I try not to piss myself because of my full bladder, and generally spending most of my appointments with my feet in stirrups and lady bits exposed, no big deal.

Right now is the hard part.  Waiting for appointments, not knowing exactly what the future holds.  Not knowing exactly what the next step is.  This is hard for me.  The worst part is knowing that it will possibly be the end of March before we finish our consults and make a finalized plan for our next steps. I am a planner.  I need a plan or I just feel lost, like we are just stuck not moving forward.

I am trying to relax and just focus on the next appointment.  Right now I need to finish up my RMA paperwork and get it all emailed in.  Then next Sunday is my clinic's IVF seminar and I hope to get to  ask the head RE her thoughts on our situation and maybe schedule a consultation with her.  Then the 26th is my phone consult with RMA.  That along with work ought to keep me occupied until the end of the month.  You would think 2.5 years of TTC would have taught me some patience.  Yeah, not so much.


  1. There is nothing worse than being trapped in the IF Abyss... it is such a dark, hopeless, helpless place to be. Just remember that you are not alone, and that you have laid out a terrific plan. When all is said and done, you will be able to say that you gave it all. Stay the course and hang in there <3

  2. Waiting is the worst! Sending you big ((hugs)) and hoping the time passes quickly for you!