Monday, August 4, 2014

Baby steps

I made our hotel reservation for next week's appointment with Dr. KK, 10 more days!

Sunday, August 3, 2014

Breaking Radio Silence

I'll admit that I might be the world's worst blogger.  

The last few months have been an emotional roller coaster and I had to step away for awhile.  I needed some time off just to put the pieces back together.  Now that I am back, let's see if I can give a brief update on what's been going on the last few months.

I'll start with our donor cycle, which was a complete disappointment.  We started with high hopes having 6 day 2 and 3 blasts on ice.  Unfortunately of the 6 day 2, one made it to morula by day 5.  We made the decision to thaw our blasts as well and 2 survived the thaw.  We decided to transfer all three.  The cycle was a bust and we were left with nothing to freeze (which we should be used to by now).

In late May/early June we came across the opportunity to have a private donation of someone's leftover frozen eggs.  Unfortunately what seemed like a great opportunity also fell apart and we were back to square one yet again.

Not knowing how to proceed, Travis and I were forced to take a hard look at our options and we decided to make some changes.  First we are consulting with Dr. KK a Reproductive Immunologist.  We want to make sure that there is nothing on the immune side that is preventing us from conceiving.  Our consult is in 11 days.  The second change we made was switching REs, as our previous RE seems to have given up on us (I understood him not recommending us cycling again, but even when I brought up third party options he seemed to push us to go elsewhere). This might have been the best move we've made.  We love our new RE (same clinic) and she had some great ideas for protocol changes if we wanted to try another IVF cycle and is more than willing to work with our RI.  She was also on board with us doing all of the testing that my last RE scoffed at.  We had our blood drawn for DQ alpha match testing, and plan on doing karyotyping and SCSA testing on DH's swimmers.  Hopefully between that testing and our immune testing with the RI, we can either find or rule out any issues that we may have.  Right now we are looking at November/December for our 4th IVF cycle.  I'm ready to get back into the swing of treatments!

Monday, May 5, 2014

CD 17 a Two days until transfer

Two days until we meet our snowflakes.  I'm oddly pretty calm about everything which is strange for me.  With all of my IVF transfers I was super anxious in the days before transfer, not surprising given our poor quality embryos.  I was usually just praying for something to transfer.  I'm also usually anxious about traveling.  I am always worrying about forgetting something important, not having the right clothing, having car trouble, or missing our flight.  I am just not overly anxious.  Sure I'll probably double check that I have my meds, the itinerary, my phone, etc. a hundred times, but that's normal right? :)

I also feel like I should be anxious since they thawed our day 6 embryos and are growing them to blast.  They don't call with updates so we won't know how many made it until our transfer.  Oddly I'm not worried.  I am just keeping my FX that they are growing and that a few will make it to blast.

It's all still a little surreal.  With my IVF cycles there was so much to worry about.  Baselines, injections, follicle scans, E2 levels, lining checks, ER, fert reports, day 3 reports, making it to transfer, will we get any frosties...  This FET has been so simple compared to all of that.  It doesn't really feel like we are cycling, except for my sore butt from the PIO, it's a dose of reality. :)

Thursday, May 1, 2014

CD 13 Lining Check

I officially suck at blogging.

Anyway today was CD 13 the day of my lining check.  It has been a crazy day.  First Thursday is apparently my local RE's late day, so the earliest appointment I could get was 10:00 am.  I get there and the office is pretty busy.  I finally get called back for my u/s and my lining looks perfect, 10.2 mm (donor clinic looks for at least 7 mm) and triple striped.  Now all I need is my blood work.  I couldn't get it done before my appointment because my RE's office has the order and of course the lab is a little busy after my appointment, but I get everything taken care of by 11:00am.  Now the wait begins.

At 2:00 PM (in the middle of a meeting of course) I get a call from my donor clinic.  They don't have my monitoring.  They ask me to have them fax my u/s results so they can at least make sure they are ok.  I call my clinic and they just got my blood work back, but they are pretty busy.  I let them know that I really need the results faxed soon since the other clinic closes at 4:00  pm EST, which is in an hour.

I spend the next hour nervously watching my phone.  At a few minutes after 3:00 pm (4:00 eastern) I get a call from my donor clinic RE.  We are good to transfer!  I start PIO and antibiotics tonight.  The plan is to thaw my 6 day 2 embryos and grow them to blast and transfer two of them.  If we don't get two blasts we'll thaw our 3 blasts and re freeze any extras.  He said that on average 1 in 3 make it to blast, so hopefully we'll get at least 2 out if our 6 day 2 embryos.  I think our donor couple had a better than average blast rate from the half of the embryos they grew to blast, so I have my fingers crossed that we might get more than 2.

I finalized our travel arrangements this evening.  We are flying out Tuesday morning and flying home on Thursday.  I can't believe how quickly this process has went.  I should be PUPO this time next week, crazy.

Sunday, April 20, 2014

CD 2

Happy Easter everyone!

So I suck at blogging.

A little recap of the last few weeks.  We had our psych eval and it went well and we got our forms notarized and mailed back in.  My period showed up yesterday and I started estrace (estrogen) for our donor embryo FET.  My lining check should be in 11 days and my transfer will hopefully be in 16 days.

I've also been working on a blog for NIAW and made my first post today.  I wanted somewhere to share information about IF, but I am not ready to share everything about our IF journey with my friends and family.  So I decided to create a new blog.  Here it is for anyone who is interested:

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Donor Embryo FET Progress and NIAW

So we made more progress in our donor embryo FET cycle, our Psych Evaluation is scheduled! I finally heard back from the psychologist this afternoon. This was our last big step to complete before we could cycle. My last steps are getting our forms notarized and sent back and filling my prescriptions (I guess we still have to pay for the cycle too). I am planning on marking getting my prescription filled off the list tomorrow. I have to mail out some jamberry nail wraps to some of my IF online friends and there is a post office across from the specialty pharmacy. Two birds one stone!

I also decided to start a new project for NIAW. I am creating a blog just to post info about infertility. Right now I am working on posts around Resolves theme for NIAW, "Resolve to Know More..." I'll post a link when I get some more finished. I am hoping to share this new blog on facebook for NIAW. More to come later.

Friday, March 28, 2014

Random thoughts on Donor Embryos and Infertility

I mentioned in previous posts that I've been seeing a therapist that specializes in infertility, which has been super helpful.  It's forced me to talk about my feelings about infertility, most of which I have been burying for the last 6 months or so.

One of the things I mentioned in my last appointment was that I realized the other day that I won't have those moments where I blame my child's bad behavior on my husband's DNA.  I always imagined our children taking after me or my husband, but genetically our children won't.  My therapist asked me if it made me sad, which is hard to answer.  I think any person would be lying if they said it doesn't make them a little sad to give up the genetic ties to their children.  Mostly though, it's just a weird thought, not sad, just strange.

The other thing that I realized the other day is that our donors are around the same age as my mother. The embryos have been frozen for 12 years.  If we do get pregnant, our child/ren will have genetic siblings that are 13 and 18 years older.

I have found some silver linings to infertility.  My favorite occurred to me when I was listening to a coworker talk about trying to explain to her young child where babies came from.  I've got it easy.   I'll just tell my child that I went to the doctor and he put a baby in my belly.  Honesty is the best policy, right?