Let's get this show on the road

So I realized today that I am faking excitement about this IVF cycle.  Ok maybe There is a little part of me that is still excited about IVF and that potentially in a few weeks I could be knocked up, but right now I am faking a high level of excitement.  I wish that I could be as excited as I was with IVF #1, but the naïveté has worn off.  Mostly right now I am just nervous and scared.  I am scared that we will go through all of this again and not have anything to transfer.  I am scared that I have two ovaries  full of rotten eggs.  I am scared that in the battle between infertility and our bank account, that infertility will win.  I am scared that we are chasing a dream that will never come true..

So I am operating under a new philosophy, "fake it, 'til you make it."  I am going to fake excitement until I can feel it for real.  And if I don't ever feel real excitement, then maybe I can hone some serious acting chops.  I think an Oscar would look good on my mantle, or it would if I had a mantle.  However if I had an Oscar, I could probably afford to buy a new house with a mantle, which would give someplace to display my Oscar...