Christmas came early...

My meds came today.  Let me tell ya, it's weirdly exciting to get $4,000 worth of medication in the mail.  I think it's because the box is more than just a box of meds, it represents hope.

I was really excited to start IVF #1 and after it turned out to be an epic fail, I wondered if I would be as excited to start IVF #2.  Honestly, I am.  Like IVF #1 it's a mix of excitement, nervesousness, and fear.  However, the fears have changed.  With IVF #1, most of the fear was of the unknown.  What would ER be like?  Would the PIO shots hurt? Etc. Failure was a fear for IVF #1, but not a prominent one.  With IVF #2 the big fear is what if we end up with zero embryos again?  How many times can we really afford IVF?  I think I've lost a bit of innocence that comes along with IVF #1.  What I haven't lost yet is hope.

Oh and because you know you want to see my stash: