My meds came today. Let me tell ya, it's weirdly exciting to get $4,000 worth of medication in the mail. I think it's because the box is more than just a box of meds, it represents hope.
I was really excited to start IVF #1 and after it turned out to be an epic fail, I wondered if I would be as excited to start IVF #2. Honestly, I am. Like IVF #1 it's a mix of excitement, nervesousness, and fear. However, the fears have changed. With IVF #1, most of the fear was of the unknown. What would ER be like? Would the PIO shots hurt? Etc. Failure was a fear for IVF #1, but not a prominent one. With IVF #2 the big fear is what if we end up with zero embryos again? How many times can we really afford IVF? I think I've lost a bit of innocence that comes along with IVF #1. What I haven't lost yet is hope.
Oh and because you know you want to see my stash: